Hello all the wonderful people out there! Thank you so much
for your love and support. It makes me want to keep doing, what I do the best. Today,
I write about a topic which is really close to my heart and it’s been reason why
people I’ve met in my life have judged me on.
Today’s blog post is dedicated to
all the single children out there. Also, it’ll give the others an insight into
our mind and our lives.
Most of friends would ask me, ‘you’ve never fought with your
brother?’ and I’m like No!? ‘you aren’t real that’s why.’ So, okay if you say
that living together with a sibling would make me want to hit him or hate him? I
am better off without one. Just saying this, because I have met people who feel
this way about their siblings. Only strengthening the early years of psychological
studies which stated the negativity inherent in sibling relationship. It leaves
me stunned. I have my brother, my rakhi brother, my friends brother and, I still
feel that I could have some more for me, It would always be fun having a
brother or a sister at home, elder or younger. But, maybe few would disagree.
Anyway, as I write about single children of my time, [and I say
my time because kids now-a-days are made of a very different kind of metal I guess.
The more I see them, the more I feel that my parents were so lucky to have a
kid like me. ] I am filled with a mirage of emotions. I loved being a single
child, still love being one and in spite of the fact that I didn’t have
siblings. I turned out just fine!
Two
of my closest friends, Neeti & Akshat are both single children too. My brother
about whom I mentioned above is also a single child and there are so many of my
classmates, relatives and acquaintances I know, who are all doing well and
also, turned out to be fine. The elderly have their own views about why there
should be two kids, of course when they themselves were a bunch of 5 or more
so, two seems manageable to them! However now a days a lot of couples decide
upon having a single child, of course they have their own reasons which we
should respect. The biggest reason being the economic status of the couple,
everything has become so costly now; that raising, educating and giving in to
his demands ( not the unreasonable ones ) itself costs lacs of rupees.
[ just in good humour :D ]
Most
people skeptically look you up and down as soon as you tell them that you’re a
single child. They label us as moody and socially awkward. It may even come
across as a shocker to them when they see that we have a huge bunch of friends
and that we are so open, like a book ready to read. They presume that we suffer
with the ‘Only Child Syndrome’ -
· You had a lot of imaginary friend.
You’re self obsessed, pampered and selfish.
·
You love to hog the limelight and that you are
an attention seeker.
·
Your parents spoil you and get you anything that
you demand.
·
You don’t know how to share.
·
You’re a loner and maladjusted.
And so much, more! I mean really? And they feel that all these
qualities couldn’t exist in those kids who have siblings? They have to be
kidding themselves.
Single Children love their alone time, but they cannot be
alone for long. They have an innate desire to be around a huge bunch of people.
They love to make new friends and stay loyal in their friendships. They have
lived alone with their parents in a joint or a nuclear family and therefore
crave for the company of people. In fact, I have seen a lot of ‘Not So Single
Child [ NSSC, is how I’d refer to them in this article ]‘ wanting to have their
alone time. Maybe because with siblings, they couldn’t get that and hence they
like being on their own.
Single children have been infamously famous for being labeled as
‘spoilt and pampered’. I myself am one and know of so many other single kids,
so I can vouch for us, that it’s not the case. It was never the case that, all
our demands no matter how unreasonable they may have been – were fulfilled. We have
received the attention of our parents within limits. They themselves were so conscious,
that they didn’t want to spoil us and prove the dumb thoughts of the society
right. Certain times when we got adamant for something, we were made to
understand that this was not the way we were supposed to behave. Other times,
our wishes were fulfilled. Our parents struck a balance.
We have been called as selfish – someone who cannot share. Selfishness
and not being able to share their things with others is something which is very
personal. It has got nothing to do with a single child or an NSSC. Generally,
people are of the opinion that because, we have had everything to ourselves, we
find it difficult to give it to others. It may hold true in some rare cases,
given that single children are very careful about their belongings, and the
other may or may not be. As of usual, Single children love to give away. They love
giving gifts too and when they are fond of someone, they open up their hearts
and can do anything for them. In fact, I feel that NSSC may sometimes change
themselves when they grow up and find it difficult to share because, all their
life they have shared their toys, clothes, chocolates and money.
Single children are mature for their age, majorly because they
were surrounded mostly by adults, they know how to behave, talk, respond in front
of them when grown up. As compared to other NSSC, single kids are usually more
matured and have a better understanding of human nature. They are thoughtful
and when waters run deep, you can vouch on them to take hold and perform. We
are just as well brought up as any other NSSC.
It’s not easy being a single child. We have a lot of pressure
and responsibilities on our shoulders. There is a pressure on us to succeed at
everything [ even if our parents don’t pressurize us ] because, we feel that we
are our parents only hope! You live in constant fear of not letting them down. And,
if they tell you that they’re disappointed in you, you don’t know where to go
and what to do with your life. We don’t have the liberty to come back at 4 am
from a late night party - because one,
they’d be worried where we were all night… and two, there would be no one to
cover for us back at home – no sibling! We cannot try out things like drinking
beer or smoking a cigarette just for fun – well because we feel, ‘what if Mom
Dad come to know about it? they won’t understand the fun aspect of it. They’d
feel all the mighty upbringing just had a fall’. With all the over protectiveness and constant
attention, we are driven crazy too! Its almost impossible for us to stay in our
room for more than half an hour, for either mom or dad would call out to you
and ask you to come out. So much for the extra attention.
Being a single child is a boon while you’re a kid. It’s a
bane when you grow up. When I was in school, most of my friends had siblings. I
didn’t have one… and, they were jealous of me, because they didn’t want a
sibling then. They thought I was lucky. For I always thought there’s less of
drama and sibling rivalry in my life that way! However, in my teenage years I started
missing upon the sibling revelry and the love. And, those who had a sibling, thought
that they were truly blessed. I was lucky enough to have had my cousin live upstairs,
and we shared a unique bond cause we were born just 18days apart. We were like
twins. But, isn’t it different when you have a brother or a sister living with
you 24 x 7?
*-
‘But yes, we never had to compete for our parent’s attention.
We had a room to ourselves at home but, then that made having roommates
in college so much more fun for us.
Again, we are not spoilt because our parents went out of the
way to break the stereotype.
Our best friend is our also like our sister in blood. We love
making new friends.
We’re extra responsible and cautious.
We have balanced qualities of both an introvert and an
extrovert.’ -*
[ *- excerpts:
cosmopolitan -* ]
It’s high time that we come out of this mundane thinking and
judgmental routine of ours and just for once get to know the other for the
person they are. Not for the person you think they may be.
here's a little something for those with siblings too!
Hope you liked the post. show me some love and click the share button! :)
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