Why is Gender Sensitization the need of the hour?

Feminist is something I'm not. I believe in equality of all sexes. But when it comes to speaking on an issue as henious as Rape, I as hell become a feminist! I think everyone must be a feminist when it comes to a crime such as Rape.

India will soon become the rape capital of the world. Such a sad state of affair for a country which 'worships Goddesses', a country which is refered to as 'Bharat Maa', a country which celebrates 'Raksha Bandhan' where men make promise to protect their sisters, they break this very promise when it comes to respecting another person's sister?

Rape them, burn them, beat them, kill them in the womb, kill them in the name of honour. Is that the status women are reduced to?

We need both men and women to be sensitive towards all three genders - Men, Women and those who don't have a gender.

We in today's time don't just need Gender Equality. We need Gender Sensitization.

I have been discussing with children at school about Gender Discrimination, Sensitization and Equality - what it is, why we need it and how we can bring about a change in our own small way.
I feel it is an issue that needs to be talked about not just at schools and offices , but even at your dinner tables.

Gender Sensitization is sensitivity towards the different genders. Gender sensitization refers to the modification of behavior by raising awareness of gender equality concerns. It is interlinked with gender empowerment.

Now that I've talked about what it means let me get down to explaining how to slowly piece by piece build a man who doesn't respect women.

What do you think makes a rapist? a wife beater? a stalker? an eve teaser? a womanizer? a molester? a person who sexually harasses women? a person who frequents whore houses?

You need to ask questions to yourself-

How can a small child turn out to be such a monster? Where does he go wrong? more importantly, where did we go wrong, in letting him turn into one such villian?
Ever thought why do people make revenge porn? make fake profiles of their ex-girlfriends? send sexts/ pictures of their private parts? cyber stalk girls? ask them for nudes? think that every girl is ready to have sex with them?

It all begins at home. The training you give to your child, how you behave with your wife/his mother at home, how you talk about others/women in front of him, how abusive you are in front of him...He sees everything.
His senses are sharp and he grasps onto notions/ideas/talks. Once he's learnt, it gets really difficult for him to unlearn.

While you slut shame others in front of your son/man you give him ideas.

When you tell only your girl to dress appropriately and don't tell your boy to not look at another girl and judge her on the basis of her dress.

When you make offensive jokes about women and particularly about rape and consent.

When you blame the girl for being raped/molested in front of your son.

When you pressurise your son to be 'a man' all the time as if he were void of emotions.
"Don't cry like a girl, don't play Barbie with your sister, go hang out with your guy friends, this is your sister's job. You're a boy, do this... you're a boy don't do this...blah!"

When you don't share work with your wife and expect your daughter to do the household work and the son just sits and wiles away his time; simply because it's not his job.

When female genitals are casually brought up in conversations as describing a man to be - weak and spineless eg: Don't be such a pussy! Have you got no balls? etc.

When you do not talk to your boys about sex and the importance of consent and how their wives and girlfriends are not toys or sex slaves.

When your daughter expresses that she felt uncomfortable with her cousin/uncle and you try to cover all this up under sheets.

When you objectify women and body shame them.

When you label women as being characterless because she parties, wears short dresses, enjoys a beer or has guy friends.

You are only making things worse.

Please be mindful of how you behave and treat your wife/ others because you are giving your child a role model to follow.

Respect your wife and women. Tell your boy when his behavior/thought/words are not okay. Be mindful of his whereabouts, who he is friends with.

Let him know that sex is not an act void of emotions, educate your child - have 'The Talk' with him.

Drill in the concept of 'consent' into his system. 

Share household chores with your partner, stand for your morals and the right thing, use good language - positive motivation, consult your wife when you take a decision,  respect everyone irrespective of their status, caste, religion, what they eat, or what they wear or where they stay.

Educate and empower your girls and let your boys be sensitive.

I do not say that women must become totally careless about their safety and throw caution to the wind. Always remember, our safety is in our own hands. One must always know what reaction their action could bring forth. 

However, we're in an era where girls are taught 'how not to get raped' rather than teaching boys that 'they must not rape'. 

Women also have a crucial role to play, they mustn't put other women down. Lift each other up, stand by each other, support each other. Harness a collective energy and build each other up. It really is a bummer when I hear people say that women themselves are an enemy of their own gender, I can't really negate the statement as I myself have witnessed it. It is truly heart breaking to see women themselves being so judgemental about other women or young girls. It is truly sad. We need to be each other's support systems and not try to pull the other down. 

United Nations Commission on the Status of Women"- 56th session states the importance of promoting Gender Equality through Gender Sensitization and doing away with stereotyping perceptions regarding women and men.

following is the excerpt from the Issue:-

"Many participants identified gender stereotypes as a major obstacle to the advancement of gender equality because they perpetuate stereotypical perceptions of masculinity and femininity, which limit the potential of both women and men. Stereotypes are embedded in cultural, traditional and religious values and belief systems and are conveyed to youth through many channels, including their families, religious leaders, peers, education systems and the media.

Changing gender stereotypes not only benefits women and girls but also men and boys. Men and boys can take on jobs and opportunities that are often considered feminine such as in the nursing and care professions. Equal sharing of domestic and care responsibilities between men and women enables men to have the opportunity to better enjoy family life and improve their relationship with their spouses and children. 

As attitudes and perceptions are shaped at an early age, sensitization on gender roles should start within the family. Several participants noted the significant impact of early socialization of children and the importance of parents and families fostering gender sensitivity from an early age. Gender sensitizing efforts challenge traditional gender roles and suggest alternative ways of thinking and behaviour that youth can associate with. For instance, whereas the traditional social definition of masculinity pressures young men and boys to appear physically strong, dominant and even violent at times, the development of alternative masculinity can instill characteristics within boys and men that promote respect and care for others.

Sensitivity towards all genders, neuters, Common, transgenders, non binary and other recognized genders needs to be developed. 

As Dr. Powell explains it: “Gender is someone’s own internal understanding about whether they are a man or a woman, something in between, [or] none of those things."

Gender-sensitive education should start from primary education. Governments must encourage families to embrace and respect education and send all their children, both girls and boys, to school, for instance by providing free education. Curricular should be gender-sensitive and include age-appropriate sexual and reproductive health education as well as civic education. Educators should be trained in gender equality issues as they are role models and are most effective when they teach through example."

Step out of the 'Patriarchal Mindset' because the excuse, 'boys will be boys' will not work anymore! 

Focus on supporting each other, start from your home.

Enough with the talks! Be the change, you want to see.

Picture Courtesy: Google.